"He that leaveth
nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few
things."Charles Baudelaire
'What's on top?' literally means what is foremost in conscious thought for the client - and an invitation for the client to articulate this without necessarily making sense or censoring. This is useful as a start to a session, especially when the client is not consciously aware of any particular 'problem' or issue they need to work on. By giving free reign to thoughts, the subconscious is given the opportunity to emerge. Evidence of this will be through words used or other thoughts and associations or some body movement indicating there is a charge of energy. Counsellor interventions which draw attention to the verbal and non-verbal clues that the client may be missing, will move the client towards emerging material.
There are no other interventions specific to this technique. However, the following are useful 'moving on' techniques to use when the client is generalising.
Where a client is making a quantum leap in cause and effect
When a client is talking about a problem, ask them to
The counsellor can suggest, if appropriate
Other techniques and interventions can be used as and when a client requests or a counsellor senses it is appropriate to the client's material.
Charles Baudelaire
Work with cushions
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This essentially Gestalt method of working, uses a cushion as a symbol. This means that the cushion can be used to represent another person, a feeling, behaviour or part of the client. By placing a cushion near the client s/he can talk to the person as if they are really there. Using the cushion as a means to talk to a part of their self enables the client to dissociate themselves from an internal emotion or part. Placing the emotional part of their self in front allows feelings to be explored and expressed. This is a very effective method of dealing with as many internal parts or feelings as the client is experiencing problems with. Cushions of differing shapes, sizes or colours can be used to represent these different parts. Using the cushion symbolically as another person enables the client to more easily verbalise what they are not able to say to the real person. The counsellor can suggest at this point that the client switches cushions and 'experience the reaction' of receiving the client's message.
It is important as the client, to address the cushion as 'you' - this gets in touch with the held in statements and feelings that need to be said, explored or given vent to. The cushion can be the safe recipient of verbal and non-verbal discharge of emotion. By sitting on the cushion and becoming the other person or part and explaining to the 'client' how things are from a different viewpoint, enables insight to emerge. Also questions which ask 'why' from the client to the cushion, are a cue to switch cushions and take on the role of the other person or part and talk back to his/her 'client' expressing the imagined feelings bottled up. Switching over continues whenever a question is asked or an explanation is given - this allows the client to explore the issue fully until resolved. Speaking as if the other person can lead to some surprises.
Using the cushion is a safe way to fully discharge anger towards another person. Co-counselling parents have ample opportunities to symbolically 'murder' or 'bash' their children and release their anger safely on the cushion. As a result of thus discharging their anger parents can interact with their offspring in a clear and positive way.
Where the client seems to be missing cues:
NB: Experienced clients will increasingly recognise their need to talk to 'cushions' and will initiate this technique for themselves. Switching cushions becomes a natural process until a solution is arrived at.
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts...
William Shakespeare As You Like It, Act 3 Scene 2
Role play
Reverse Role playSwitch roles. (Client and counsellor change cushions.)Client becomes oppressor. Counsellor "speaks" as client. NB Counsellor can voice what the client is not saying |
Role play outside co-counselling involves the client and other group characters to be given a brief set by the group facilitator. All of these characters therefore require 'acting a part' other than themselves.
Another form of role play can be seen in Psychodrama where the client is being themselves and using other group members to become the characters of their past history to enable the client to work. These other characters can invent their own imagined response whilst in 'role'.
In co-counselling role-play, the counsellor does not invent the words of the client's oppressor but maintains the set words/phrase for as long as the client requests or material comes up. It is not unusual for the client to change the words several times before arriving at those which have the most emotive response for him/her. The client may also wish the words to be said in a particular way and the counsellor needs to be sensitive to these requests. The counsellor can suggest or the client can initiate a Role Play technique.
Bringing in the cushion to allow the client to 'speak' to the oppressor, requires the counsellor to notice the appropriate moment for this to take place. Once material has been accessed by the client, it is useful for the counsellor to slip out of the oppressor role and become the supportive counsellor again. A statement to clarify any change can be made - i.e. "Shall I be counsellor now?" or "I'm counsellor again", when the role play technique has served its purpose for the client.
Inventions from other people can detract from the 'reality' for the client, which is one reason for conventional role play not being used in co-counselling. Another reason is that 'role players' can become 'hooked' into the role and deny the human response, whatever the client comes up with. This can result in an impasse situation. Co-counselling is all about our own real life drama with the client both directing and acting out the situation.
Psychodrama is nearer to co-counselling role play because the client is playing themselves. Both Role Play and Literal Description technique are a form of Psychodrama. Role Play can also be used for the the client to work through a negative belief. Here the client directs the counsellor to repeatedly say a phrase that the client believes about themselves:- 'You're no good', 'You have to be perfect', 'You never get anything right', etc., etc.. Initially, the client may have no idea 'who' is saying this, but once this has been identified the cushion can be brought in for the client to continue working with their oppressor and the counsellor to be in the supportive role.
This technique is useful if the client feels 'stuck' in response to the oppressor's phrase or action whilst in role play. Reversing the roles so that the client becomes the oppressor and the counsellor becomes the client, enables the real client to hear any responses the 'counsellor as client' comes up with. This is the only technique where the counsellor can tentatively say or do what the client is not able to. Experiencing being their own oppressor the client can also test the experience of the response that the counsellor as client has come up with. This can be enlightening for the client. Switching back again to the counsellor as the oppressor and the client as themselves, enables the client to then try out for themselves the phrase/words they have just heard and explore how that feels, in order to deal effectively with their response/reactions to the oppressor. The client can request the counsellor to reverse role play as many times as it takes to work through and come up with a satisfactory conclusion.
Behind this technique is the theory that the counsellor, being an objective observer of the situation, is likely to see how the client is 'stuck' - and because the counsellor is an objective observer will not become sucked into the overwhelming emotional response that the client finds themselves in, and can thus react to the "oppressor" in a clear way. As counsellor it is important to be aware that you do not get sucked into an oppressive/rescuing role, passionate to relieve suffering and demanding the acceptance of your interventions (ideas).
Sentence completion"I am feeling ... because ... and that makes me feel ..."Can be used to
Direction holdingCounsellor aids client to maintain a requested direction. (Issue statement.)Counsellor interventions
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A technique which can be usefully used at any time in a session. It is also an effective way 'in' to material at the beginning of a session. By using the phrase and developing the theme, the effect is to work through layers of feelings to access one that has some energy for the client to stay with. Vague indeterminate feelings can be helped to emerge. Similarly, it is a useful starting off technique for the client to use when wanting to keep to a particular direction for working on an issue.
Direction Holding is used where the client has a particular issue they wish to address, and may request the counsellor to help them in maintaining this focus. Having a counsellor there to constantly bring the client back to the direction, helps when the tendency is to slip away from it given half a chance. The use of repetition here also helps not only to promote discharge but also during discharge.
Direction holding also involves the sustained use of contradiction either verbally or non-verbally. The effect is usually to bring up copious discharge until allowed to be spent (see Contradiction pp. 54-56).
ScanningTo survey repeated occurrences of a particular type of event or mental state, or "echoes" from the past.Enables accessing of Patterns. These usually come from the past and are associated with, and active in, many current incidents. Identifying these then helps clients to work on the origins of these patterns and not the results. Themes
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This is a technique which enables the client, through examination of every day upsets, to access original patterns.
Scanning requires the client to take a recent feeling and travel back in time, stopping off at times in the past when the same feeling predominated. Working through an identified situation, the client then travels back further and so on, working through issues along the way. This can be both a backward and forward journey in time, working through until the original event that affected the client has been reached.
An original event usually occurs between 0-6 years and is where a belief pattern about the self, others and the world may be formed. The journey can start from the original event - if the client is able to access this, reviewing later, similar experiences in roughly chronological order all the way up to the present. This process can be repeated many times. A combination of talking and/or silent reviewing in this scanning process seems to work well. Initially the client can verbally recount all the experiences first remembered, but on repetition, silently reviews the ones that have already been mentioned, or verbalises any new incidents as they show up. This method allows a very large number of experiences of a similar nature, most of which are restimulations of the same pattern, to be reviewed in a short period of time. Discharge may occur with the verbalisation or even with the silent reviews. This discharging, which can include laughter, is a relieving of the distress and will result in a 'fading' or reduction in the energy of these patterns. This varies according to the strength of the belief which has resulted from the original experience.
In many ways it is a series of literal descriptions, either verbalised or experienced silently, in order to gain insight about the original event, and facilitate the client to be in an emotional state to re-evaluate this and set future targets for similar situations of a restimulatory nature to be overcome. Scanning is useful for beginning this tracing back process or when more work seems to be needed. It can be used at any time.
All techniques are appropriate
"-of sex or the sexes...... classification based on the distinction of sexes. Hence sexuality." (Concise Oxford Dictionary)
Being either male or female in our society carries a weight of rules, injunctions, expectations and some misunderstanding of being a man or a woman as distinct from the sexual urges and expression of these urges.
Heron draws attention to the fact that "the cathartic cycle" (which is behavioural) "is quite distinct from the orgasmic cycle" (which is sexual). This is because "orgasm does not unload fear, anger.. grief, embarrassment, whereas catharsis does." There is an obvious similarity in the release and this may lead to confusion of the outcome.
In our non-cathartic society there is also a confusion about the expression of human nurturing needs and the association of these with eroticism. Heron also states that the distinction between nurturing needs i.e.- touching, holding, embracing, stroking, caressing, where sexual arousal is absent, minimal or entirely secondary, and the sexual function which culminates in ecstatic convulsions, is little understood. The one is confused with the other. This produces an anxiety in human contact as to its purpose.
The free giving of nurturing needs is advocated in co-counselling. The true acceptance and giving of human warmth and body contact without sexual invitation being expected or required, frees co-counsellors and others practising personal growth to delight in each other as human beings to an extent that is usually not possible with others in society.
Compulsive sexual behaviour can result if a person blindly acts out in the present, the unfinished business of the past; Examples include:
Patterns are thus present in the expression of sexual encounters as in any other encounter or acts. Distress around repressed feelings can therefore manifest in the sexual act but not be discharged by it. As with any other pattern, the origin needs to be accessed and distress discharged around that first time in order to achieve a lasting release.
The sexually wise person does not confuse gender with sexual arousal and can distinguish in the latter, according to Heron:
Exercise (normal or intensive contract helps in this)
Allow sufficient time to explore one or all of these statements, and at the end of a session:
This is precisely what it says. The technique initially requires the client to "act" into an emotion. The emotions usually "acted" into are anger, fear, grief or embarrassment since these emotions are the ones we have learned to repress and find difficult to access, but all emotions can be worked on. Each type of emotion has a particular body position and movements which will help to mobilise the body energy. In the normal functioning state, the emotions are kept down. This being the case, it is necessary to alter the energy level in the body to allow the emotion to emerge. It is also important to remember that in 'acting into' the client has to inject energy into the exercise which is equal to the holding in of the emotion in a stable position ... " when an immovable object meets an irresistible force..." This exercise needs to be physically safe for the client for two reasons:
1. so that no physical damage will result
2. the knowledge of this safety will help the client to energise by going fully into the exercise
The position mostly adopted for Acting Into Anger is kneeling in front of a pile of cushions. In this position the client repeatedly brings his/her arms and fist down onto the cushions slowly building up in intensity and increasing the pace. This "slow build up to a bursting forth" (release) is a simulation of our natural bodily functions of digestion, orgasm, ejaculation and giving birth. If there are suitable words to use in the same way, then so much the better. This process is repeated over and over again until the client actually contacts the anger within. Once accessed and discharging, then normal interventions will allow further material to be accessed.
In this technique, there is a responsibility with the counsellor to maintain an adequate pile of soft cushions for the client to energise with. The golden rule of 'No physical violence' is an important aspect for the success of this exercise from both client and counsellor perspectives. The client is free to hit, murder, strangle and throw cushions around and totally vent feelings in this way whilst the second important rule of balance of attention is also maintained.
This is simulated by trembling and shaking. This may be done kneeling, standing alone or digging the fingers into the small of the counsellor's back. Letting out yells, shouts and screams or hyperventilating, all help to allow the fear to surface, which can then be worked on using any other techniques.
Being hunched up on the knees is the position which most simulates sadness/grief. A foetal position of lying down and curled up, is more likely to develop into a primal "rebirthing". Using the breathing 'as if sad' with sighing and shaky intake of breath, expressing and exaggerating moaning/wailing sounds, will all help the sadness to emerge.
Making exaggerated joyful movements and sounds, such as continuous laughter, may access real joy, but be prepared for any other emotion that may surface. This can be a powerful contradiction method which accesses grief/sadness or anger.
Use exaggerated yawning and sighing or other emergent sounds together with stretching, clenching/unclenching hands if the client goes with whatever movement seems appropriate, right.
Real catharsis occurs when the movements become involuntary and spontaneous as a consequence of the feeling intensifying to a level which becomes unbearable.
It is very important that the client is aware of being in charge throughout, so the depth of feelings and the extent of the exploration is decided upon by the client. Giving oneself permission to experience repressed emotions and then be able to discharge them, is one of the most enabling methods available.
As counsellor, always be aware that the presenting distress may have an underlying distress. Asking for the earliest memory of this feeling or "Who are you really saying this to" will further enable the distress to be discharged from source.
You are led
through your lifetime
by the inner learning creature,
the playful spiritual being that
is your real self.Don't turn away
from possible futures
before you're certain you don't have
anything to learn from them.You're always free
to change your mind and
choose a different future, or
a different
past.
"Illusions" (The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah,) Richard Bach,1978. Pan Books Ltd.
"The map is not the territory."
Bandler & Grinder
In order to go on any journey it is necessary to have a map. Above is a suggested 'map of emotions'.
Implicit messages around us state that excessive emotions are not OK. and must therefore be kept hidden from others. Keeping emotions 'down' in this way can lead to them being so buried that the individual loses touch of them. To be fully alive and responsive to life and living, all areas need to be experienced. Living in the positive side alone is to miss out a great deal that goes on with negatives which will eventually lead to and enrich our experience and joy in the positives. To fully appreciate happiness it is necessary at some level to experience unhappiness etc.
The main advantage in drawing your own map is to put in those positive and negative aspects that are personal to you. Knowing then how to shift from one square to another i.e.- out of negative passive to negative active will lead to either positive passive or active. Learning how to get unstuck through co-counselling and then doing it, is one of the most freeing experiences. Co-counselling is therefore a very effective way of dealing with depression - one of the most 'stuck' places to be.
Emotions are not hierarchical. All emotions are equal and to be experienced. Each emotion enriches the experience of the individual. The aim of being in touch with all emotions - some painful, some joyous, but all worthwhile, is a useful and enriching experience - there is no need to avoid them.
One technique suggested to move from passive negative to active negative is 'acting into'. After the emotion is accessed and allowed to run-off, it is usual for calm to be experienced i.e. passive positive and then a move towards active positive is possible. Although the suggested journey starts from the passive negative to the active negative, then onto the passive positive and eventually to the active positive, it is possible to move from any one quarter to any other quarter.
The important requirement in shifting, especially from negative to positive, is energy. Any of the techniques to mobilise emotional energy are a prerequisite.
This is a technique suitable for use in either normal or intensive co-counselling contracts.
Mirroring can be used by the counsellor in two major ways:
Once the client is into material any other appropriate technique can be used.
"Words can lie but our bodies do not".
Bandler & Grinder 1979
Non-verbal and para-linguistic signs of internal messagesNB The non-verbal systems are often more of an accurate indicator than the verbal systems.
Counsellor interventions
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To attend only to words being uttered is to attend to a comparatively small amount of information that is being given. In co-counselling, the noticing of body language aids the discovery, by the client, of occluded and incongruent messages. The counsellor is there only to draw attention to these and by doing so implicitly invites the client to explore them. It is another 'way in' to material.
Remember that EVERYTHING IS A MESSAGE - coughs, splutters, movements - are all messages in one form or another, mostly at an unconscious level. As mentioned previously, sudden body shifts, when linked either to words spoken by others or thoughts during speaking, indicate that a surge of energy has been generated. Using "What's the thought?", or Exaggeration/Repetition/Contradiction techniques will access these.
Allowing the 'body only' to speak can be a refreshing experience. Non-verbal sessions can be set up where the counsellor is requested to give Free Attention or Normal Contract and where the client only moves and lets out sounds, not words. The idea here is for the client to explore what his/her body wants and to go with it. The counsellor is there to draw attention to parts of the body by touching or verbally offering a technique to the client. I believe there is a counsellor responsibility in this type of session to ensure the client has sufficient padded material around for directing energised movements against, thus enabling the client to continue in a safe way to express themselves.
Intensive contract
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The counsellor's role in giving an intensive contract, is to pick up and feed back to the client as much of the client's material as possible, both verbal and non-verbal. Attempt to maintain a constant 'feedback stream' of these cues.
This type of contract is an important option open to experienced co-counsellors, and at the request of the client to help him/her deal with chronic patterns, occluded or avoided material. It is a very useful 'way in' to material and can be used instead of 'What's on top' / Direction Holding/Sentence Completion at the beginning of a session. Check with the client precisely how long the intensive contract is to last and whether Normal or Free Attention contract should follow. Usually it is only necessary for an intensive contract to last for about three minutes - shorter if the client is into material. Normal contract with appropriate techniques usually follows or the client may ask for an intensive contract until the relevant material is found and then say 'Normal Contract now please' or give a pre-arranged signal.
Experienced co-counsellors may ask for the whole of a session to be intensive. Interventions still take the same form i.e. suggestions for ways of working. Useful intensive techniques are Mirroring and Role Playing the oppressor.
Whilst this is not strictly a co-counselling technique, it is a useful means to clear issues with another person and at the same time acknowledge something of their worth.
In our society many negative messages are given, so it is useful to remember that there are as many positives to be found which require stating as well. By balancing the negatives and positives there is greater harmonisation.
e.g.:
So a useful session exercise to clear issues between two co-counsellors is to set a time limit e.g. two minutes, for all 'resents' followed by an equal amount of time for all 'appreciates' (a total of four minutes) and then to switch over. Whilst in the counsellor role free attention only is given.
OR
Where a group (say between six and eight) of co-counsellors wish to use this technique, each person takes their turn at being in the "hot seat". The other members of the group each give a resent they feel towards the person in the hot seat. This can immediately be followed by an appreciate or a full round of resents then a full round of appreciates. Each client chooses the option they prefer. The client listens without making any response.
It is useful for the "hot seat" client to remember:-
Through receiving and giving this kind of feedback, each member of the group learns how to handle criticism and also how to put another perspective on what may be going on for the giver.
Celebration as a group exercise
Co-counselling theory holds that human beings are born intelligent, creative, loving, flexible etc.. That being the case, co-counselling introduces methods of affirming this. The importance of celebration is to counter those negative messages that have been around for a long time i.e. scorn is thrown on self-appreciation and put downs such as "s/he has got a big head", "s/he is full of her/himself" or "It is wrong to boast" etc. are often used.
The reason for negatives being more acceptable than positives may be to do with the notion that selfishness is wrong and unselfishness is a virtue. This belief, in my opinion, fundamentally misinterprets how human beings operate. I am proposing that all humans act from thoughts, feelings, drives and urges that lie within. Even doing what we are told stems from a belief that "I have to do this". Hence all human actions stem from the self. These actions and behaviours can be described as selfish (selfishness being about, around, or within the self). Doing things for others still originates from the self in either one or all of the beliefs or feelings or motivations. By this definition it is therefore impossible for any human being to be unselfish.
To explain further:- Saying 'no' to a request from another person is equally as 'selfish' as saying 'yes'. The reason for this can be explained by the following hypothetical dialogue:-
If I say 'no' it is because:
(all to do with the self -- note the use of the word 'I')
If I say 'yes' it is because:
(all to do with the self - note the use of the word 'I')
Although in each case there is a different internal dialogue, both are to do with the internal needs, beliefs, gains and losses of the self.
It is my belief that understanding this principle frees interaction with other people from self and other game playing. I can only be me. I can only be myself. I operate 'selfishly' - and so does everyone else!
One person in a group stands up and celebrates their own identified qualities for one minute. When a non-verbal sign contradicts the positive statement, then the person is asked to "repeat that statement" or "convince me".
At the end of a group 'life' each person writes their name at the top of a large sheet of paper. These sheets of paper are passed around the group and all participants are asked to write a positive comment about each other person in the group.
Exercise (2) can be extended to each person standing up in turn and owning the two most sensitive statements made about them by members of the group. This can be profoundly cathartic.
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