In childhood people are stopped from discharging by parents and teachers (and by other children who jeer at non-conformity.)
"That's a childish way to behave." "Pull yourself together." "Control yourself." "Big boys don't cry." "Good girls don't get angry." "It's silly." (to show fear) "Don't give way to emotions."
Adults repeat to themselves phrases from childhood and use them to suppress discharge processes. These phrases are part of Patterns. Other parts of these Patterns will be muscular tensions which inhibit discharge. These Patterns are known as Control Patterns. Adults pass them on in their turn to their own children.
If the inhibition of discharge processes is as counter productive as we are claiming, how did it all start? Perhaps from inaccurate ideas about the connection between Distress and discharge processes. Distress distorts: the way people see the world, the way they feel, the way they act. Therefore people are keen to keep Distress to a minimum. In children the most obvious sign of Distress is the discharge process, like crying or a temper tantrum. When the discharge ceases the Distress appears to have gone away. So maybe people make every effort to stop the discharge on the assumption that the Distress will cease as well. It is this assumption that is doubtful—only a little self analysis is needed to decide it isn't true for adults.
This type of mistaken assumption is not as unlikely as it appears--doctors spent many years interfering with the body's healing processes by bleeding patients on a similarly mistaken assumption.
Harvey Jackins suggests that the reason most adults want to stop others discharging is because observing Discharge is restimulative of their own distress. Co-counsellors work on the assumption that the end of Discharge signals the end of the Distress only when it ends naturally, i.e. when the discharge process has not been interfered with. Co-counsellors can confirm from their experience that encouraging discharge processes gains them relief from present and past distress, provides ways of returning to rationality and results in the breaking up of restrictive and rigid behaviours.
Many people find their control patterns against Discharge are powerful and they have to relearn what children do naturally (Relearning how to let Discharge occur does not mean being forced to discharge in public--most people will save it for counselling sessions.) The powerful nature of Patterns and the need for experiencing a safe present, provide good reasons for clearly distinguishing what goes on in a co-counselling session from the rest of the person's life. Co-counsellors make specific contracts with regard to time and behaviour to maximize the chances of breaking Patterns.
The basic strategy in co-counselling is discharging Distress in order to break Patterns. This strategy is assisted by three others for which we use the labels: CELEBRATING; ATTENTION SWITCHING; TARGET PRACTICE. The first two of these constitute a strategy of working from strengths--worth learning in their own right as well as for co-counselling. This is like putting on an asbestos suit and getting a supply of water on hand before you try and fight the fire, rather than rushing in without protection or means of putting the fire out. Target Practice is orientated towards life actions which aid or produce changes for the individual.
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