An idea many beginners find helpful is to use some 'flash cards' of the common techniques, as reminders during a session. These can be made by writing on file cards. The suggestion is that they are laid out where both client and counsellor can see them.
The ones we use for workshops are:
"Focus on an event."
"Try using present tense."
"Say that bit again."
"Say it louder."
"Try a contradiction."
"What's left unsaid?"
"What's the thought?"
The following points are all relevant to using co-counselling sessions:
1. Consider techniques you might use before starting your session.
2. Both people have three minutes each way on News and Goods before starting.
3. Who starts? Whoever feels most distressed. If you both lack attention, then both spend some time Attention Switching and Celebrating--e.g. "News and Goods" "My strengths and skills". Otherwise the most experienced co-counsellor could start. If none of this applies toss a coin.
4. For the main session use 30 minutes each way, or more if possible; an hour each way once a week is useful: make an explicit contract over times.
5. As Client
a. Tell your counsellor what sort of a contract you want; also any useful things she might not know--whether being held helps or hinders crying discharge for instance.
b. Start with some positives and celebratory things.
c. With a new counsellor do the "Checking Recognitions" exercise. Note that it can be useful to do this several weeks running, new things can emerge.
d. If nothing is on top to work on try: Closing your eyes, relaxing and letting mind go blank. Try working on what comes up, however apparently trivial or far from your previous thoughts. If all that comes is blocking thoughts such as, "I'm stuck" try contradicting them, or using them as a theme for scanning: "Times I've been stuck." Or scan the events of the past week, using the appropriate methods for intensifying the feelings; re-experience them and try to allow Discharge.
e. Try to focus on specific events rather than talk about Distress in general. Pay attention to using the present tense and literal description of events. Use "What's Left Unsaid" before leaving an event. Try to maintain eye contact whenever you can.
f. Leave time at the end of your session to finish off! If sunk in Distress use one of the Attention Switching methods to get attention outside yourself--finding coloured objects in the room perhaps. End with a celebration of yourself.
6. As Counsellor
a. Remind yourself of the basic contract: "my client is responsible for himself or herself; I'm not responsible for my client". Also "I have agreed to give as much Free Attention as I can to support my client."
b. Offer physical contact to the client--holding hands or a hand on their knee. Do not force it on the client, and stop if it hinders Discharge.
c. Aids to keeping your attention free and on the client include: eye contact, looking at your client's face and silent validation (i.e. thinking to yourself "She's a very worthwhile person; I can appreciate her for doing something important for herself.") and so on.
d. At the start of the session encourage your client to celebrate--loudly, and with actions.
e. Respond to a prolonged silence with, "What's the thought?" This is also useful if you notice a sudden change of expression on your client's face.
f. Only suggest techniques to your client (notes d. and i. apart) if your client has asked for more than Free Attention, and if you as client are already using them.
g. When offering interventions try to make them straightforward suggestions, without preambles or asking whether client wants to try them; this is less distracting and easier for the client to either follow or reject.
h. Be aware of time passing and tell the client when they have only five and then only two minutes left, or at the times they've requested.
i. During the last few minutes of the session encourage your client to regain Free Attention if necessary (and at other times in the session if the client appears to have lost touch with present safety).
j. When your client is brimming over with Discharge, forget about anything else (except note i.) and encourage the Discharge happening.
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